A lot of people have praised me for my positive attitude. It's a little embarrassing, because I don't think it's that praiseworthy.
Yes, I have a very serious medical condition, and I'm confined to a single short corridor on the sixth floor of a hospital a few hours away from home for at least a few more weeks, with an expected return stay that's even longer. Compared to where I was two weeks ago, this is a lot worse.
But compared to what some of my fellow patients are going through, my experience so far has been pretty sweet. As I write this, my neighbor to the west is repeatedly vomiting. (Note to self: Put on some loud music when lunch arrives.) I rarely see other patients, because most of them don't have the energy to get out of bed. Those who do get out onto the corridor are barely moving. One of the few patients I have seen on the exercise equipment looks like the skinnier of the two comic relief ghost pirates from the Pirates of the Caribbean moves -- gaunt, sunken eyes, blotchy skin. I (so far) haven't had any negative side effects from my chemotherapy -- appetite is fine, energy level is good.
And that's just the physical side. Financially, I have a strong health insurance policy, and a supportive employer with short- and long-term disability benefits and a willingness to let me telecommute as I am able, and savings to draw on if needed, and family to turn to if that's not enough. I'm sure there are others up here who, besides feeling physically terrible, are also tormented by financial worries.
Outside of the hospital, Jan has it rougher than I do. I have room service and people who clean my room and provide me with clean hospital gowns whenever I need them. Jan has her regular job(s), and she has to take on my share of the shopping, cooking, dishes, laundry, and day-to-day parenting that I would do if I were there. Plus, she worries about me.
It's easy to be positive when you aren't being tested.
In my opinion what's being tested is your ability to look past item number one (the serious medical condition) to see all of the other things. You are passing that test with flying colors.
ReplyDeleteJoe, you certainly have covered (commented on) the whole gamut of perspectives here. I think your last line is particularly "interesting" (in the least) and it moved me to write to you. I do not understand how you feel you are *not* being tested. I read your blog and (try to) visualize your day and (try to) imagine how I would feel, think, and act. I do know that, even under the best of circumstances (such as you try to make me believe you feel you have now--smile), I would NOT feel that I was NOT being tested. I am very sure that I would feel *entirely* tested. I know you are a humble person--one of your many qualities--but please accept me saying that I've decided to follow your blog for the genuine and impactful inspiration and insight you provide. Thank you so very much. You are truly amazing. -Roger
ReplyDeleteDon't poo-poo your credit too much, Joe. While you might have it better than others in the wing with you, that doesn't change the fact getting a serious illness like this does cause some (many? most?) people to have a severely negative reaction. You are being tested, you are just passing with flying colors.
ReplyDeletePersonally I've always considered the "positive attitude helps" position a bit over played. I suspect a neutral attitude ("it is what it is") would work just as well. The real issue is avoiding negativity and letting an emotional state take over how you treat yourself.
Here is to hoping you've already been as "tested" as you are going to be.
Hi Joe,
ReplyDeleteJust heard about your incarceration in Chicago from Cathy and Robert. Sending good wishes your way. Please let Jan and your kids know we're available if they need anything!
Looking forward to seeing you outside on the soccer pitch or running trails (when the weather's a bit warmer, of course! You probably don't mind the snow and cold, but I am a wimp!!)
All the best,
Maeve and Seamus
Hi Joe,
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone. (Wow! That was easy!)
I still think your writing is improving with each passing day. Everyone sure is enjoying it. Thanks.
Maybe you can write a humorous iPhone app about writing humorously?
I bet Ivy would pay $1.99 for that.
I mean, like, you could do it while you're on the treadmill keeping your heart rate below 140. Yes? No? Maybe?
Okay. Time for a nap.
Tell Jan to let us know if she needs anything. She knows where we live.
ReplyDelete